Coco Chanel wasn’t just a fashion designer–she was an icon. A connoisseur of simple, elegant, timeless fashion (think little black dress and a few strings of pearls), she once famously gave this incredibly handy piece of fashion advice:

Once you’ve dressed, and before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take at least one thing off.

As I’ve slowly learned to dress myself like an adult (thanks, Pinterest!), I’ve thought about this advice a lot. Layering is good. Jewelry is good. A pop of color is good. But too much of any of those? Bad. Bad bad bad.

Suddenly you go from wearing your clothes to being worn by them. We don’t want that, mama. We want to feel beautiful as ourselves, not overwhelmed by our “personal style.”

The great thing about Madame Chanel’s advice is that it (metaphorically) applies to life.

Don’t want to be overwhelmed, overtired, and overbooked?

Maybe it’s time to Coco Chanel your to-do list.

 

Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Lists

I’m a compulsive list-maker. Really. I’ve got three list-making apps (that I actually use), plus pen-and-paper lists galore. They’re posted on my fridge, secreted in notebooks, and cloud-saved to my phone, iPad, and computer. I love lists.

To-do lists are no exception, and I used to fill up each day in my paper planner with boxes to be checked. I almost always had at least 10 things I wanted to get done–anything from checking emails to grocery shopping, folding laundry to cleaning out the kitchen. I’d even put time with my kids on the list, so I wouldn’t forget.

And I was amazing at finishing them all.

JUST KIDDING!

Yeah, I was not amazing at it. In fact, it killed me a little bit. Because at the end of each day, I’d have to take the 15-20 things I didn’t actually get around to and move them to the next day.

Every day.

It’s a bit… deflating.

Do you do this mama?

Isn’t it the most exhausting thing to get to the end of a day and see on paper (or on a screen) a list of all the things you DIDN’T do?

It’s the things we didn’t do that stress us out, isn’t it? Those are the things we lay awake worrying about while the rest of the house is asleep.

I didn’t make a meal plan. I never made it to the gym. I forgot to brush the kids’ teeth. I didn’t clean the bathroom yesterday. I forgot to pay the cable bill. I forgot to start the dishwasher!

Those things, the undone things–they torture us. They drag us down.

They tell us: You’re not enough. You can’t get anything done. This is your job, and you’re really, really bad at it.

But here’s the thing, mama: it’s not you that’s broken. It’s your list.

You’re Not Infinite (and That’s OKAY!)

This summer I read the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. As far as game-changers, this book is right up there with my all-time fav parenting book (the one that helped me totally stop yelling at my children!).

This book was life-changing, but for a different reason. It showed me that in all my pursuit of perfection and achievement, I was forgetting that I not only can’t do it all–I also shouldn’t do it all.

Because we’re not made to, mama!

We’re not made to be good at every single thing. We’re not made with infinite energy and infinite talent. We’re made with a finite amount of both, and if we want to be happy, productive, and (fairly) balanced, we have to learn to thrive and bloom within those constraints.

So here’s why I want you to Coco Chanel your to-do list:

I guarantee that you have too many things on it.

Guarantee.

I know that, because I am constantly, intently, passionately focused on culling my list down to the bare essentials every. single. day. And I still usually have too much on my list!

Case in point? Last Monday I had a myriad of things to get done while my older two were at school. I knew I could fit in about three of them, but I had also somehow convinced myself that I must go to Costco that day. MUST. And it was stressing me out. I didn’t have enough time to do it AND have the margin I needed to get things unloaded and ready before preschool pickup.

That heart-pounding I-hate-this-day feeling is my signal to step back and take a closer look. Am I putting things on my list that don’t actually need to be there? What can I cut to make this day better?

That morning Costco got nixed. I did the other things on my list, and–more importantly–I didn’t feel overstretched or pressed for time. (And, oddly enough, I didn’t end up making it to Costco until FRIDAY–and we were totally fine.)

Here are two things you can ask as you look in your metaphorical mirror and decide which adornments to take off of your to-do list:

1. Do I need to do this today?

Calling your mom for her birthday on her birthday is a yes. It has to be today if her birthday is today.

A scheduled appointment? Yes.

Stopping by the library? Grocery shopping? Baking muffins? I know it might feel like you have to do them today–but do you really? If there isn’t a deadline, and you have your family’s most important needs covered, consider reassigning to a different, calmer day.

If your answer is YES (it must be done today), ask yourself questions #2 & 3…

2. Can I make this simpler?

Just because you ran out of milk doesn’t mean you must do your entire week’s worth of shopping today. Make a quick run to grab just milk at the store and plan your big trip for a day when you have more time.

3. Can someone else do this?

The trashcans need emptied–can you assign a kid to trash duty?

A package needs mailing–can you ask your husband to drop it at the post office when he’s out?

See where I’m going with this?

We put so much on our own shoulders, mama–and a lot of it doesn’t need to be there. When you trim your to-do list–and work to make the must-do’s easier or share the load with people who love you–you might be surprised how much better and more capable you feel. I was. 🙂

Doing less lets you do a better job on the things that matter.

So go cut that to-do list down to size!

xo,
Jamie