Bright Light Mama

claim your light

The Joyful Benefit of Bored Kids

Little girls play in the grass on a sunny afternoon.

After almost 10 years of momming, I’ve trained myself to be a pretty cool-headed mama.

But there are three things that always make my blood-pressure rise:

  1. A shrieking, tantruming toddler,
  2. The dreaded “What’s for dinner?” question, and
  3. A beloved but whiny voice declaring, “I’m BORED!”

You guys. I just. Can’t. Even.

“Fixing” the Boredom

Before we get in to some real-world solutions, I want to take a minute to be YOUR advocate.

Everyone and their mom (literally) seems to be involved in our kids well-being. From the time they are tiny babies we have well-meaning grandmas asking “Where are your baby’s socks?” when we’re standing in the Target checkout line.

And while having a village available to help raise our children is wonderful and necessary, sometimes it makes us start questioning our own capabilities, intuition, and boundaries.

So let me make this suggestion: It is not your job, as a mother, to entertain your kids.

[Read more…]

Messy House? Take Heart.

Pale peach 1920's home surrounded by trees - Hope for a Messy House

Five years ago my husband and I arrived home to the flashing lights of a police car.

Slices of hazy red and blue light sliced and retreated over the the front of our pale-peach 1920’s rental as we unbuckled our two small children from their car seats, and a stern-faced officer approached to escort us inside.

We were a little shaken. We’d never been broken into before, and when we got the call that evening we’d rushed home, uncertain what lay in wait for us at home.

When we walked in the front door, the house was in chaos.

The officer walked us through each room one by one, notebook in hand.

In the craft room paperwork spilled over the counter with no rhyme or reason.

The kids’ playroom was a wreck–toys, art supplies, books, and dress ups covering the floor, the little table and desk. Nothing in order.

In our bedroom the drawers were open at odd angle, their contents riffled through and hanging over the drawer edges. Clothes were thrown haphazardly across the floor and the dresser top was awash with discarded jewelry and clothing.

“Anything missing from here?” the officer asked, holding up his pen. “Anything out of place?”

“No,” I said.

“No?” he asked. “Nothing out of place? You mean… It looks like this all the time?” [Read more…]

When You Feel Not Good Enough

Mom sitting on a driveway, feeling not good enough.

For months now I’ve thought about how I’m not good enough to write to you, mama.

I’m not.

When I started writing again after a long hiatus, I was just barely this side of a hot mess. I had been for about 18 months (from the time that wonderful pregnancy test turned pink to the day I finished nursing my then-9-month-old). Even now, another 9 months later, I am constantly adjusting, shifting, learning, and re-learning as I try to balance the responsibilities of home, wifehood, personhood, and raising four kids.

So here’s the thing:

I don’t feelย good enough, and I’m not ready, but still this longing and calling have filled my heart: Iย have to write to you. I have to. I can’tย not write. I gave myself time and grace, but now I have to sit here with my hands on the keyboard and pour out to you the best things I know how to give.

I don’t know why. Why me, or why now. I don’t even know why I crave to write aboutย this–about motherhood–which is something I often rail against as I struggle to piece myself into a whole, breathing person.

But I do. I want to write to you so badly. And today I am okay with the fact that I don’t feel good enough or ready. I’m starting to understand that there isn’t going to be a magical point when I feel those things simultaneously. And waiting means I just I keep letting days upon days pass me by.

So I’m here. [Read more…]

Reader Question: Getting Rid of Paper Clutter

Messy pile of papers on a kitchen counter.

Whenever new mamas sign up for my email newsletter, I ask them to share something that is driving them nuts right now. ๐Ÿ™‚ If I’ve got a tip or trick that can help smooth that out, I’ll share here!

Today’s hair-pulling problem is from Ginger, and I think you’ll all relate!

GINGER WROTE:
If I could instantly change one thing, I would change the piles of “stuff”
on flat surfaces in my home.

While we’re definitely not immune to the stuff-everywhere problem over here, I have found some helpful ways to keep the crazy to a minimum. [Read more…]

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