I Don't Love My Body (But This Helps)

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Pin image of a white woman holding a bouquet over her face and text that reads Where to Start if You Don't Love Your Body

I don’t totally love my body. Do you ever feel that?

Or, do you ever feel it–and then feel guilty for feeling it?

I definitely want to love my body–you probably do, too!–but if I’m honest? I struggle.

Some days I feel good in my skin, strong and useful and powerful and beautiful.

Other days I feel worn and tired, frustrated with my body’s looks and limitations.

And some days I feel shame about my body, and an uncomfortable longing for it to be different.

The cry for women to love our bodies is good–but body love is complicated and challenging. So if you want to be there, but (like me) you’re not there yet, here are some places to start.

“I don’t love my body, but…”

First of all, let’s be clear: It’s okay if you can’t jump right into LOVE with your body!

I try to show love to mine: through sleep, exercise, food, movement, rest, paying attention to it’s signals, and doing the boring un-sexy parts of self care, like getting an annual checkup.

But feeling love for it? I’m just not sure I’m there yet.

I find it easier, gentler on myself, to choose some things I can feel for it, and try to live in that space instead.

Here are some things I can say and feel:

“I appreciate my body.”

Even on the days when I feel frustrated with my body, I can still find things to appreciate.

It grew and carried my babies.

It provides me with joy and pleasure through my senses, and through the skills and talents I have cultivated through it.

It lets me read good books, listen to birdsong, smell fresh brownies, play the piano, feel the warm sun, and write about things like this to you.

My body connects me with the world around me. It’s purpose isn’t to be looked at, but to be enjoyed and used (by me!).

As Lindsay and Lexie Kite say, “Your body is an instrument, not an ornament.”

What can you appreciate about your body today?

Pin image of a black woman painting an abstract portrait and text that reads Where to Start if You Don't Love Your Body

“I have compassion for my body.”

When I can’t say “I love my body,” I can try to feel compassion for it instead.

My has been through a lot.

It has been judged and talked about by other people. It has been through injuries and illnesses and difficult pregnancies. It has faced scrutiny, judgment, and dislike–from me.

My body carries my feelings and tries to cope with them. It is constantly regulating itself to keep me alive and functioning, in as healthy as place as possible. It tries to protect me.

Even when it isn’t doing what I want it to, I believe it is doing its best.

Your body has carried you through a lot, too! Try choosing compassion for it today, and see how that feels.

“I want to take care of my body.”

I might not love doing the things it takes to care for my body–and you know what? I might not even be that good at it when I try.

But here’s what I know:

When I focus on how I’m “failing” my body, I feel discouraged.

When I focus on what I want to do for it, I feel hopeful.

Wanting may not be enough for a lifetime, but that’s okay. It’s enough for a small beginning, and that’s how habits start anyway.

I don’t do a perfect job of doing all the things on all the days, but my intentions towards my body are to care for it and support it as it does its job for me.

And when I do even a small thing to support it, I am honoring that desire.

Do you want to take care of your body? Start claiming that desire–even if you begin just by saying it aloud to yourself.