Confession: I want to be a fun mom–but I do not enjoy playing pretend.
And ugh, do I feel guilty about it!
My kids love when I am playful–there is something wonderfully, magically rule-breaking about an adult pressing pause on being serious!
But I find myself torn between wanting to make them happy, and wanting to get on with my day.
If you’re joining me on the “fun mom” struggle bus, read on. I’ve got seven actually doable tips that will help you enjoy playing with your kids!
7 Ways to be a More Fun Mom
Set a Time Limit
I recently wrangled myself back into a semi-regular exercise routine, after struggling to get into a rhythm for months.
In my attempts to find the problem with exercise, I tried lots different types of exercise (maybe I was bored?), different times of day (early morning was a no thanks), and working out solo and with a buddy (hi hubs!).
Those were all great experiments, but the change that really helped me get into a rhythm was setting a reasonable time limit.
For some reason, working out for 30 minutes felt unbearable. I’d drag my feet and make excuses and feel done before I even started.
When I gave myself permission to do knock my “requirement” down to 20 minutes, suddenly it felt completely doable.
Setting a time limit (before you start!) when you’re trying to play more with your child can have the same effect:
Instead of feeling like you’re being dragged into endless hours of play, you choose a time that feels okay for both of you.
It’s much easier to wrap my brain around 15 minutes of playing with a fish puzzle, or two games of UNO, than it is to face an endless afternoon of activities dictated by one of my kiddos.
Time limits let us focus on quality over quantity!
Related Posts I Think You’ll Love:
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- 6 Practical Ways to Stop Being a Burnt-Out Mom
- Rescuing a “Mean Mom” Day
Talk About What You Like and Don’t Like
Let’s get down to brass tacks, y’all: I love playing mermaids, but I hate playing “house.”
My whole adult life feels like a long drawn out game of house–cooking, laundry, and being bossed around (however unsuccessfully) by my 3-year-old.
So it makes sense that I don’t want to pretend that, right?
We can sometimes hesitate to talk to our kids about our preferences, because mom-guilt often dictates that the kid gets first dibs on having an opinion.
But talking about what you and your child like and don’t like (in kind, appropriate ways) in playtime is a great opportunity to model how to properly protect and assert yourself–a skill our kids need in the classroom, at playdates, and later in romantic relationships.
It’s also a great way to make play feel more like play for Mom, too–and that makes us much more likely to engage in playtime in the first place.
Have a “Yes” List
It’s easy to identify what you don’t like, but knowing what you do like is just as important!
Having a “Yes List” is one of the easiest ways to find more ways to be a fun mom.
Make an actual list–in your notes app or on paper–of things you really enjoy doing with your child. It will make a huge difference in your willingness to play and engage!
Here are a few things from my own personal “Yes List”–things I will almost always be excited to do with my kids:
- Play Frisbee or catch,
- Build Legos (I’ll build happily, but usually don’t pretend),
- Color, paint, or draw,
- Do a KiwiCo box together (I love how it comes with everything we need!),
- Play one of my favorite family games,
- Ride bikes,
- Paint nails, and
- Play MarioKart or Overcooked.
You might have noticed that pretend-play is not on my Yes List. That’s okay! There are lots of different ways to engage with our kids, and they all count!
Motherhood is not a competition, so don’t get hung on on Pinterest perfection. You can be a fun mom and still be the kind of mom you are as a unique individual.
Teach New Play Techniques
Play with older kids is often organic–they have the beginnings of a true sense of self, they know their preferences, and they have lots of experience with play.
But play with the toddler-to-preschool set can be a bit of a grind.
Teaching play techniques not only creates more opportunities for fun for your child, it also creates space for more variety in how you interact.
I remember being surprised–and a little disappointed–that my littlest wasn’t at all interested in her first baby doll. It wasn’t until I modeled for her how to play with it that she began rocking, feeding, and putting her dolly to bed.
I melt when toddlers (basically babies themselves!) play mommy to their baby dolls, so teaching her this play method made pretending more fun for me, too.
You don’t have to be into pretend for this to work, either. You could teach your little how to make a pillow fort, and then read inside it together, or you could explore engineering together by showing her how to build a Lego house. Play with color and paint, initiate a bug hunt outside, or talk about the textures in your fabric stash.
There are so many kinds of play–so play to your strengths and interests!
*Don’t* Be All-In
This might sound counterintuitive, but all-in pretend and play can burn some of us mamas out pretty quickly.
But half-in play? I can sustain that for much longer.
What I mean is this: I don’t initiate very much focused, intentional pretend, but I always engage with pretend that happens around me.
If you, Rapunzel, arrive in the kitchen while I’m doing dishes, I am here for it. We will talk all about your day of adventuring around the castle barefoot while I scrub the plates. You can call me the “cook” if you want and we can talk about my duties at the palace. And I might even pretend to trip on your long hair as I load the silverware.
For me, half-in play is the best of both worlds: I get to engage with my child’s creativity and getting to get my own tasks and to-dos done.
Channel Mary Poppins
Much like the “half-in” technique, Mary Poppins-ing doesn’t halt real life in it’s tracks–it just makes real life more fun.
Kids are the best Mary Poppinses around, adept at creating games out of almost any situation. When I’m on my game (sorry, mom pun), I make space in our day to let my children shine at this talent!
My now 6-year-old invented a game called “Crash Rags” to play when we wipe down the kitchen table. It’s incredibly simple: each person gets a rag, you start on either end of the table, and then you crash your rags together as you clean. There are no points or rules–just an excuse to giggle while we tackle a chore.
When my son was a construction-obsessed 3-year-old, he used to love putting away his laundry if we pretended he was a crane truck. He would lift one stack of laundry at a time, haul it to its drawer, and tuck it safely away before returning to the job site (laundry basket) for more.
These little moments of chore-time play can take almost zero-energy on mom’s part, and still bring delight and joy into our kids’ days!
Fall in Love with Your Child
Life is busy.
We get distracted.
And often during promised playtime, even fun moms end up clock-watching, waiting for the moment that we can get on with our task lists and to-dos.
When you start to feel that itch, use it to turn your attention back to the piece of your heart sitting beside you.
Really look, watch, and savor.
Watch how your toddler’s fingers deftly stack her blocks.
How your elementary schooler grins when he lands a skate trick.
How your kindergartener tucks her stuffed bear into bed.
Ask questions.
“Is your baby doll sleepy? How do you take care of her?”
“Can you teach me to flip a water bottle like that, too? What tips do I need to know?”
As many people have surely told you (far too many times) in grocery store checkout lines, the time goes fast.
Use these little moments to soak up some sweetness.
xo,
Jamie
p.s. Want to jumpstart your fun mom makeover? Here are our favorite games to play with kids, and some fun activities to do at home. One of my favorite mom-kid activities are KiwiCo crates!
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